Meisnerrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

WHAT. A. JOURNEY. THIS HAS BEEN.

Meisner... hm.

This technique has stirred different emotions in me. It scared me, chilled me to the core, and made my heart glow. All at once. It's funny, letting my reptilian brain and impulses lead me...it's so freeing. Such a blank slate. It's made me see myself in a new light. I feel like I am getting to know myself deeper, and paying attention to how the world makes me really feel. I'm also hyper aware of others... their truth being revealed in subtext and body language. My interactions with others have evolved to a level of honesty that was not there before.

I LOVE the readings. Reading it, seeing our class on paper... awakens my brain. So many quotes have stuck out and stayed with me as I delve further into Meisner. For example, from the Mesiner packet: "until we acknowledge what's truly going on within ourselves-- the specifics of who we are and how we feel-- how can we possibly seek to be understood by others?" The concepts of being fully aware and having a complete point of view on everything has taught me the character of Monica. As we branch on to text, I think I am ready to take hold of a new person for I know my blank slate and how to let it go. And also, how to incorporate my impulses and draw from my imagination to paint the imaginary circumstances. The recent daydreaming work and emotional preparation was interesting... I liked letting my heart and mind wander and see where it lead me. Bill said, "a daydream will seek to reshape harsh reality into a form our egos can embrace."

Our midterm scenes surprised me. I saw how much we have all grown and sewn together the different aspects of Meisner into one cohesive presentation. There were both highs and lows, which can be expected. BUT. One thing I MUST let go of is expectation. I always feel like the scene has to GO somewhere. But no... the impulses will drive the scene and something will happen out of the course of things happening. A climax will come naturally. Or if not, then that is the truth of the scene. Always truth.

For my personal work, sometimes I sit on my impulses while trying to figure out how to word it. I get lost in the words. In the translation. So, we'll see with these scenes. I will try to own the text, not vice versa.

To infinity and beyond. :)

~Monica