Outside the studio, I've noticed myself taking inventory of what other people say and thinking to myself, "Don't let it roll off! How did what [he/she] said make me feel? How would I respond to this in the studio?" In fact, this silent activity, intended to make me more aware of my everyday reptilian experiences, has sometimes brought itself into my actual conversations and interactions. In one situation, when I realized that I was repeatedly being taken advantage of and disrespected, I spoke up for myself. Now, in the studio, I may have reached right out, grabbed her by the arm, and called her a bitch. Realizing this, I finally understood that the choice of ignoring what she said would have been boring for a scene and unproductive to a story; I would never "deal with it" (one of my biggest struggles in class) by ignoring it, whether in a scene or in real life. So, I composed myself, and finally let her know that what she said had insulted me.
Going back to this "inventory" of emotions and their real-life attachments will help me in scene work, I believe. Like several others were saying, I am a tad fearful of losing my sense of personal truth when taking on a character, but I think what will help me most is remembering that I must "live truthfully," even if my imaginary circumstances are that I am not myself. Perhaps my character would not react the way I would in a given situation, but if I return to my "inventory of emotional experiences," I'm sure I'll find something to draw from. If not, I can always escape to my daydreams-- they are goldmines.
I must never stop collecting more and more emotional experiences-- it's like a plant I must take care of and attend to daily, and the the more I collect, the more fruitful of an actor I'll become.
"Live fully - moment to moment - that is reality." ~Sanford Meisner
I agree with Raina. I love that the studio is a safe place that we can explore and learn. I feel like we've really created that as a class and it's wonderful to be able to go up and work and not be afraid to get something wrong. It's great to know we are all learning together
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